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讀后續寫：一段雷聲背后的深情故事 講義
讀后續寫
The weather had been unusually hot. My wife Pat and I were having a cup of coffee on our deck. There was rarely any breeze, and it was extremely wet. The sky turned dark. Lightning danced across the sky, accompanied by low, rumbling thunder. The heavy air seemed to press down on us, adding to our discomfort and unease.
Suddenly, the phone rang. It was our son, David, an Army helicopter pilot. Three months earlier, he had begun a one-year assignment in a demilitarized zone in South Korea. David made an effort to sound cheerful, but as a man who had spent time during World War II on a small South Pacific island, I recognized the strong sense of homesickness.
A booming clap of thunder shook again.
“What was that ” David asked, “It sounded like an explosion.”
“Just thunder,” Pat said.
There were several seconds of silence. “David,” I asked, “Are you still there ”
“I was thinking about what Mother said — ‘just thunder.’ Other than the two of you, do you know what I miss most of all — what many of the men say they miss Thunder. We have rain, wind, snow, and some violent storms, but never thunder.” “Remember, Dad, when I was a boy, how the two of us would stretch out on the floor and listen to the thunder I wish I were there now to listen with you,” he said softly.
As soon as I hung up the phone, I got my tape recorder, my large umbrella, and a wooden chair. “I’m going to record our son some thunder,” I told Pat.
With lightning lashing across the sky like a display of fireworks, I sat in the driving rain beneath my umbrella and recorded half an hour of the finest Mississippi thunder a lonely man could ever want to hear. The next day, I mailed the tape to David with a single line: “A special gift.”
第一段：David called again three weeks later.
第二段：From then on, thunder had different meanings for Pat and me.
詳細的解題思路
這篇文章講述了父親與在韓國服役的兒子David通過雷聲建立情感紐帶的故事。父親在聽到兒子因思鄉而懷念雷聲后，決定為兒子錄制一段雷聲，表達對兒子的關愛。文章的情感表現力主要體現在人物的內心波動和父子之間的情感互動上。因此，如何通過細膩的情感描寫和精準的結構設計來突出父親的孤獨和思念、兒子的情感需求，是關鍵所在。
解題步驟：
1. 理清情節主線：
情感沖突： 父親意識到兒子遠在他鄉，面對雷聲帶來的情感波動。
情感表達： 父親通過錄制雷聲并寄送給兒子的方式表達對兒子的思念與關懷。
轉折點： 父親在決定錄制雷聲的過程中，經歷了情感的糾結和思考。
2. 明確續寫的情感轉折：
第一段： 通過父親的內心掙扎與疑慮，引出父親為兒子錄制雷聲的情感動機。
第二段： 父親將錄音寄給兒子后，兒子回憶與父親的共鳴，引發情感升華。
3. 運用十句五定法：
固定句式的應用： 通過情感描寫、動作鏈推進和結局升華等句式，逐步展開故事情節。
非固定句式的補充： 通過細節描寫和環境描寫豐富情感層次，推動情節向高潮發展。
第一段：情感描寫與內心的情感波動
1. 情感描寫（開篇點題）：
句式： "A sense of loneliness washed over me, making me feel even more isolated and yearning for my son."
解釋與寫作思路： 開篇通過“孤獨”這一情感詞匯，明確表現出父親在面對雷聲時的情感波動，帶出父子間的情感沖突。
2. 細節描寫：
句式： "My hands trembled slightly as I reached for the phone, my heart pounding in my chest."
解釋與寫作思路： 通過父親內心的情感波動，引出細節描寫，強化人物內心的不安與思念。
3. 動作鏈推進（承接情節）：
句式： "Upon hearing David’s voice, I rushed to the closet, grabbed my tape recorder, and rushed back to the deck."
解釋與寫作思路： 描寫父親如何迅速做出反應，采取行動錄制雷聲，為接下來的情節發展做鋪墊。
4. 沖突鋪墊（為轉折埋下伏筆）：
句式： "I hesitated for a moment, unsure if recording the thunder would really make a difference."
解釋與寫作思路： 父親在做決定時的猶豫，增加情節的復雜性，為接下來的轉折做準備。
5. 情節轉折（高潮）：
句式： "No sooner had I hit the record button than a loud clap of thunder rang out, echoing through the air."
解釋與寫作思路： 通過雷聲的響起，推動情節向高潮發展，增強情感的表達。
第二段：情感升華與主題點睛
6. 結局升華：
句式： "Having recorded the thunder, I felt a wave of relief, realizing that I had done something special for David."
解釋與寫作思路： 父親在完成這一行為后，感到情感的釋然與安心，提升文章的情感層次。
7. 細節描寫（補充情感）：
句式： "As the rain poured around me, I smiled, feeling closer to David despite the distance."
解釋與寫作思路： 通過自然環境的細節，展現父親內心的平靜與滿足，為故事的情感升華增加層次。
8. 動作與情感結合（推動故事）：
句式： "I sat back, watching the lightning dance across the sky, a sense of peace filling my heart."
解釋與寫作思路： 通過細膩的動作描寫，將父親的情感與環境相結合，推動情節走向高潮。
9. 他人反應或對話：
句式： "When David called again, his voice full of gratitude, I knew that the gesture had meant more than I could imagine."
解釋與寫作思路： 通過兒子的反應，體現父親行為的意義，進一步推進故事情感發展。
10. 主題點睛：
句式： "This experience taught me that love transcends distance, and sometimes, the simplest gestures are the most meaningful."
解釋與寫作思路： 通過總結性語言，點明故事的主題，升華情感，為文章畫上完美的句號。
完整的續寫示例
第一段：
A sense of loneliness washed over me, making me feel even more isolated and yearning for my son. My hands trembled slightly as I reached for the phone, my heart pounding in my chest. Upon hearing David’s voice, I rushed to the closet, grabbed my tape recorder, and rushed back to the deck. I hesitated for a moment, unsure if recording the thunder would really make a difference. No sooner had I hit the record button than a loud clap of thunder rang out, echoing through the air. The sound felt oddly comforting, as if it were a bridge connecting me to David, even though he was miles away.第二段：
Having recorded the thunder, I felt a wave of relief, realizing that I had done something special for David. As the rain poured around me, I smiled, feeling closer to David despite the distance. I sat back, watching the lightning dance across the sky, a sense of peace filling my heart. When David called again, his voice full of gratitude, I knew that the gesture had meant more than I could imagine. This experience taught me that love transcends distance, and sometimes, the simplest gestures are the most meaningful.

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