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讀后續寫:相互厭煩有隔閡的兩兄弟,在露營暴風雨中重拾兄弟真情 講義-云南昆明市2025屆高三上學期“三診一模”摸底診斷測試英語試題

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讀后續寫:相互厭煩有隔閡的兩兄弟,在露營暴風雨中重拾兄弟真情 講義-云南昆明市2025屆高三上學期“三診一模”摸底診斷測試英語試題

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云南昆明市2025屆高三“三診一模”摸底診斷測試英語試題
第二節(滿分25分)
67. 閱讀下面材料, 根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段, 使之構成一篇完整的短文。
In the beautiful town Riverview surrounded by rolling hills, lived two brothers, Jack and Tom.
They were as different as night and day-Jack, the older by two years, was a keen reader with a preference for quiet moments spent in academic books, his nose often buried in the pages of historical texts or scientific pared with him, Tom was totally different, full of energy and enthusiasm, always longing for the outdoors. He found joy that came from playing soccer and basketball. The differences between them often led to arguments, creating a gap that seemed impossible to bridge.
One summer, their parents, hoping to mend the growing divide between them, decided to send them on a camping trip in the nearby Blue Ridge Mountains. They thought that the fresh mountain air, coupled with outdoor activities, would bring them closer.
Unwillingly, the two brothers packed their bags, each secretly hoping that the other would give up at the last minute. But neither did, and soon enough, they found themselves setting up camp under a canopy(頂篷)of twinkling stars, the cool night breeze whispering through the trees.
The first few days were tense. They quarreled over insignificant matters-who should carry the water bottle, who got to choose the music during meals, and whose turn it was to gather firewood. Their unpleasant quarrel echoed through the quiet forest, breaking the peace that enveloped them. Each disagreement seemed to widen the crack between them until one evening when things took a dramatic turn.
A sudden storm rolled in. The wind howled through the trees, and rain began to pour. In the disorder of securing the tent and gathering supplies to prevent them from getting wet, Tom slipped on a muddy path and hurt his ankle badly. Struggling with extreme pain, he knew that he had to turn to Campsite medical tent.
注意: 1. 續寫詞數應為150左右;
2. 請按如下格式在答題卡上相應位置作答。
Paragraph 1: Noticing his brother in such a situation, Jack’s heart softened immediately.
Paragraph 2: As Tom healed, the brothers worked together to complete the camping trip.
云南昆明市2025屆高三“三診一模”摸底診斷測試英語試題
第二節(滿分25分)
67. 閱讀下面材料, 根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段, 使之構成一篇完整的短文。
In the beautiful town Riverview surrounded by rolling hills(非謂語動詞做后置定語), lived two brothers, Jack and Tom(倒裝句).
They were as different as night and day-Jack, the older by two years, was a keen reader with a preference for quiet moments(介詞短語做后置定語) spent in academic books(非謂語動詞做后置定語), his nose often buried in the pages of historical texts or scientific journals(獨立主格). Compared with him(過去分詞做比較狀語), Tom was totally different, full of energy and enthusiasm(adj短語做補語), always longing for the outdoors(非謂語動詞做伴隨動作). He found joy that came from playing soccer and basketball(定從). The differences between them often led to arguments, creating a gap that seemed impossible to bridge(定從).
One summer, their parents, hoping to mend the growing divide between them(非謂語動詞做后置定語), decided to send them on a camping trip in the nearby Blue Ridge Mountains. They thought that the fresh mountain air, coupled with outdoor activities(過去分詞做后置定語), would bring them closer(賓從).
Unwillingly, the two brothers packed their bags, each secretly hoping that the other would give up at the last minute(賓從)(獨立主格). But neither did, and soon enough, they found themselves setting up camp under a canopy(頂篷)of twinkling stars, the cool night breeze whispering through the trees(獨立主格,環境描寫).
The first few days were tense. They quarreled over insignificant matters-who should carry the water bottle, who got to choose the music during meals, and whose turn it was to gather firewood(同位語從句,AB&C). Their unpleasant quarrel echoed through the quiet forest(環境描寫), breaking the peace(現在分詞短語做結果狀語) that enveloped them(定從). Each disagreement seemed to widen the crack between them(狀態描寫) until one evening when things took a dramatic turn(定從).
A sudden storm rolled in(環境描寫). The wind howled through the trees, and rain began to pour. In the disorder of securing the tent and gathering supplies to prevent them from getting wet(介詞短語狀語), Tom slipped on a muddy path and hurt his ankle badly(核心轉折點). Struggling with extreme pain(非謂語動詞做伴隨動作), he knew that he had to turn to Campsite medical tent(賓從).
注意: 1. 續寫詞數應為150左右;2. 請按如下格式在答題卡上相應位置作答。
Paragraph 1: Noticing his brother in such a situation, Jack’s heart softened immediately.
Paragraph 2: As Tom healed, the brothers worked together to complete the camping trip.
1. 續寫類型分類與構思分析
分析角度 內容
續寫類型 情感成長類(兄弟關系、理解與和解)
構思思路 1. 通過外部事件(暴風雨與受傷)促使人物成長。
2. 通過情感沖突和轉折點推動情節。
3. 結尾強調成長、理解與和解。
布局與框架 第一段:Jack對弟弟受傷的反應,情感轉變,開始照顧Tom。
第二段:Tom逐漸恢復,兄弟關系改善,共同完成露營。
實施要點 1. 注意承接原文(如描寫他們的矛盾、爭吵)。
2. 巧妙設置轉折(如Jack的內心變化)。
3. 強化情感遞進(從冷漠到關心)。
承接原文要點 1. 矛盾點:之前關系緊張,爭吵不斷。
2. 關鍵事件:Tom受傷,無法獨自行動。
3. 情感轉折:Jack主動照顧Tom。
巧妙設計續寫 1. 環境渲染(暴風雨、森林中的困境)。
2. 心理描寫(Jack的內心掙扎與改變)。
3. 人物互動(對話與行動體現關系緩和)。
2. 故事山(Story Mountain)分析
起因→沖突→高潮→轉折→結局
分析角度 內容 原文反應句
人物刻畫 Jack從冷漠到關心,Tom從固執到理解。 "They quarreled over insignificant matters."
情感層次 起初:相互厭煩 → 沖突:暴風雨受傷 → 轉折:關心 → 結尾:和解 "Jack’s heart softened immediately."
關鍵情節點 1. 爭吵不斷 → 2. 暴風雨來襲 → 3. Tom受傷 → 4. Jack照顧Tom → 5. 關系緩和 "Tom slipped on a muddy path and hurt his ankle badly."
語言特色 對比修辭(兄弟性格差異)、心理描寫、動作描寫增強氛圍 "Unwillingly, the two brothers packed their bags..."
關鍵詞分析 爭吵(argue, quarrel)、受傷(injured, wounded)、關心(care, concern) "The differences between them often led to arguments."
心理描寫 1. Jack開始不情愿,后來變得主動。
2. Tom對哥哥的態度變化。 "Jack’s heart softened immediately."
動作描寫 1. Tom滑倒受傷。
2. Jack幫忙扶起并包扎傷口。 "Tom slipped on a muddy path..."
環境描寫 1. 暴風雨來襲。
2. 森林氛圍,夜晚寒冷。 "The wind howled through the trees, and rain began to pour."
隱含主題 1. 兄弟情誼的成長。
2. 困境中的相互支持。 "As Tom healed, the brothers worked together to complete the camping trip."
情感轉折 從冷漠到關心,從對抗到理解。 "Jack’s heart softened immediately."
空間轉換 帳篷→森林小路→醫療帳篷→營地 "Struggling with extreme pain, he knew that he had to turn to Campsite medical tent."
時間過渡 風暴前→風暴中→風暴后 "A sudden storm rolled in."
3. 續寫常用語料
推薦的動作、心理、環境描寫
(1)動作描寫(8個)
He rushed forward, grabbing his brother’s arm.
His hands trembled slightly as he helped his brother stand.
Jack knelt down, examining Tom’s swollen ankle.
He gritted his teeth and lifted his brother onto his back.
He wrapped a bandage tightly around the wound.
Tom winced in pain but nodded in appreciation.
Jack cleared his throat, hesitating before speaking.
They walked side by side, their steps finally in sync.
(2)心理描寫(8個)
Jack hesitated, torn between old resentment and new concern.
A sense of guilt washed over him.
He couldn’t ignore the tight knot in his chest.
Tom bit his lip, ashamed of their past fights.
Relief flooded through Jack when Tom managed a weak smile.
He felt a warmth spread through him as they worked together.
Jack realized how much he had taken his brother for granted.
Tom met his brother’s gaze, understanding finally dawning.
(3)環境描寫(8個)
Dark clouds gathered, swallowing the last traces of sunlight.
The wind howled, rattling their fragile tent.
Raindrops pounded against the ground, soaking their supplies.
Lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the worried faces.
The forest floor turned into a slippery mess of mud and leaves.
Cold air bit at their skin, making them shiver.
The storm passed, leaving the world fresh and silent.
Morning sunlight filtered through the trees, casting a golden glow.
高級詞匯替換
基礎詞匯 高級表達 同義詞
Help Assist, aid Support
Angry Furious, outraged Resentful
Tired Exhausted, drained Fatigued
Happy Overjoyed, elated Thrilled
Difficult Challenging, demanding Arduous
4. 高分語法點與搭配
(1)語法現象
語法點 示例句
虛擬語氣 If he hadn’t helped, his brother might not have made it.
現在分詞短語 Seeing his brother in pain, Jack acted instantly.
強調句 It was in that moment that Jack truly understood his brother.
非謂語動詞(to do) Jack knelt down to examine the wound.
定語從句 The forest, which had once felt vast and lonely, now seemed smaller.
(2)可積累的語料
短語 例句
Make amends Jack wanted to make amends for their past fights.
Come to terms with Tom finally came to terms with his brother’s care.
Tension melted away As they worked together, the tension melted away.
Possible Versions
Version 1:
Paragraph 1
Noticing his brother in such a situation, Jack’s heart softened immediately. Withou hesitation(without介詞短語做狀語), he rushed to Tom’s side, helping him sit up(非謂語動詞做伴隨動作). “Are you okay ” he asked, concern written all over his face(獨立主格). The rain continued to pour, soaking them to the bone(非謂語動詞短語做伴隨動作)(環境描寫). Jack quickly wrapped his jacket around Tom’s shoulders, his previous frustrations forgotten(獨立主格). “We need to get you to the medical tent,” Jack said firmly. Though Tom hesitated(狀從), he nodded, realizing(非謂語動詞做伴隨動作) he had no other choice(賓從). Jack bent down, allowing Tom to lean on him(非謂語動詞做伴隨動作) as they slowly made their way back to the campsite(狀從). Every step was painful for Tom, but Jack’s unwavering support gave him strength(轉折對比描寫). For the first time in a long while, Tom felt grateful for his brother’s presence.
Paragraph 2
As Tom healed, the brothers worked together to complete the camping trip. Jack took charge of gathering firewood, while Tom helped prepare meals(狀從). Their old arguments seemed distant(狀態描寫為), replaced by laughter and shared experiences(過去分詞短語做結果狀語). Sitting by the campfire one evening(現在分詞短語做伴隨動作), Tom glanced at Jack. “Thanks… for everything,” he said softly. Jack smiled, giving his brother a playful nudge(現在分詞短語做伴隨動作). “You’re not that bad, you know.” The warmth of the fire mirrored the warmth growing between them(環境情感描述). The trip that had started as a burden(定從) had become something meaningful(轉變描寫). By the time they packed up(狀從), they were no longer just two individuals—they were brothers(遞進句式), bound by something deeper than words(過去分詞短語做結果狀語).
Version 2
Paragraph 1
Noticing his brother in such a situation, Jack’s heart softened immediately. The past conflicts suddenly seemed insignificant compared to Tom’s pain.(心理描寫) Without thinking twice(with復合狀語), Jack crouched beside him, his hands trembling(獨立主格) as he examined Tom’s ankle(狀從 對原文的銜接). “We need to get you out of the rain,” he muttered, his voice firm but gentle(獨立主格). Ignoring the cold seeping through his clothes(現在分詞短語做伴隨動作), he wrapped an arm around Tom’s waist and helped him stand. Tom winced(vi退縮) but allowed Jack to guide him back. The storm raged around them, but Jack refused to let go(環境描寫和心理展示). With each step, their bond strengthened—unspoken but undeniable(狀態描寫).
Paragraph 2
As Tom healed, the brothers worked together to complete the camping trip. Jack patiently taught Tom how to properly set up a tent(賓從), while Tom, in return, shared survival tips(狀從) he had picked up from adventure books(定從). They laughed at past misunderstandings and found common ground in the simplest of things(變化描寫). When the final day arrived(狀從), Jack looked at Tom and smirked. “I guess camping wasn’t so bad after all(賓從),” he said. Tom chuckled, nodding(現在分詞做伴隨動作). “Not with you around.” As they left the campsite(狀從), the gap that once divided them(定從) had disappeared, replaced by trust, understanding, and an unbreakable bond(過去分詞短語做結果狀語).
Version 3
Paragraph 1
Noticing his brother in such a situation, Jack’s heart softened immediately. For years, he had seen Tom as nothing but a reckless troublemaker(描寫兄弟情很好的積累), but in that moment, all he saw(定從) was his little brother in pain. “Hold on,” he murmured, kneeling beside Tom(現在分詞短語做伴隨動作). Carefully, he inspected the swollen ankle before tearing a strip of fabric from his own shirt to wrap around it(救援類動作描寫). “Lean on me,” he instructed. Though reluctant at first(讓步狀從), Tom obeyed, his usual pride melting in the face of necessity(不情愿感的描寫推薦!). As they stumbled through the rain(狀從), Jack tightened his grip, his determination unwavering(獨立主格).
Paragraph 2
As Tom healed, the brothers worked together to complete the camping trip. They found themselves working in perfect harmony—Tom lighting the fire(獨立主格) while Jack cooked(狀從). Gone were the constant bickering and silent treatments(倒裝句,強調). One night, under a sky filled with stars, Tom broke the silence. “I always thought you didn’t care,” he admitted. Jack scoffed. “You’re my brother. Of course, I care.” In that moment, both understood that despite their differences, they would always have each other(賓從). And that was enough.
高分語法解析與亮點詞匯
1. 高中語法加分點
語法點 例句 解析
虛擬語氣 If he hadn’t helped, his brother might not have made it. 表達對過去情況的假設,提高語言表達高級感。
強調句 It was at that moment that Jack realized his love for his brother. 強調情感轉折,提高句子感染力。
非謂語動詞 Ignoring the cold, he wrapped an arm around Tom. 通過非謂語結構讓句子更緊湊、更流暢。
定語從句 The storm, which raged around them, only made their bond stronger. 使句子更具邏輯性、層次感。
現在分詞短語 Seeing his brother in pain, Jack acted immediately. 使句子簡潔,同時強調主觀情感變化。
2. 亮點詞匯短語
(1)情緒描寫
基礎詞 高級表達 同義詞
Worry Anxiety, concern Unease
Happy Elated, overjoyed Thrilled
Nervous Uneasy, apprehensive Tense
Relieved Comforted, reassured Soothed
Sad Heartbroken, devastated Melancholy
(2)動作描寫
基礎詞 高級表達 同義詞
Help Assist, support Aid
Look Gaze, glance at Peer at
Walk Stumble, stride Trudge
Hold Grasp, clutch Cling to
Say Murmur, whisper Utter
(3)環境描寫
基礎詞 高級表達 同義詞
Rain Downpour, drizzle Shower
Wind Howling wind, breeze Gust
Dark Gloomy, dim Shadowy
Cold Icy, freezing Chilly
Fire Blaze, flickering flames Ember
3. 可積累的讀后續寫語料
短語 例句
Swallowed his pride Jack swallowed his pride and offered his hand.
A lump formed in his throat Seeing his brother struggle, a lump formed in Jack’s throat.
Tears welled up in his eyes Tears welled up in Tom’s eyes as he accepted Jack’s help.
Break the silence Tom finally broke the silence and muttered, “Thank you.”
Stand by someone’s side Jack stood by his brother’s side, determined to protect him.

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