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浙江強基聯盟2月聯考讀后續寫沉浸寫作
浙江省強基聯盟2024-2025學年高三下學期2月聯考英語試題
閱讀下面材料，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。
It was the late 1980s. I was 15. It had been nine years since I last saw my dad. To mark our reunion in the country of my birth, my dad, who adored adventures, wanted me to “visit all your people and see every corner of your beautiful home,” so he took us on a road trip.
However, admiring Jamaica’s landscape was the last thing on my mind as I sat in the back of the Beetle, angry at my dad because he had dropped in and out of our childhood. My aim was to get to know him better. Not Jamaica.
Once, when he was unwell, I had to take the bus back to Kingston later than usual instead of him driving me. The sun was sinking, and the sky was darkening.
“You sure you’re OK to walk up the shortcut to the bus stop ” he asked, sensing my city-girl nerves at the prospect of navigating a lightless country path.
“I’m fine.” I lied.
He rolled his eyes, coughed, put on his jacket and shoes, and led me up the path. As we walked, with leaves rustling（沙沙作響）, he found the energy to give me a mini biology lecture on the luminescent（發冷光的）powers of the fireflies and instructed me to “spot their guiding lights.” Before I knew it, we were safe at our destination.
“Love you, be safe,” he waved to me, before heading back down the dark track, fireflies flashing around him.
“Bye, take care,” I replied. Loving him too, but not always able to say it.
注意：
1．續寫詞數應為150左右；
2．請按如下格式在答題紙的相應位置作答。
However, as he started to walk back down the dark track. I felt a sudden urge to follow.
A couple of days later, my dad took a drive around Jamaica with me.
文章大意
文章講述了作者15歲時與分離九年的父親在牙買加重逢的故事。父親熱愛冒險，希望通過一次公路旅行讓作者了解家鄉的美景和親人。然而，作者對父親的缺席感到憤怒，更想了解父親本人而非家鄉。一次父親生病，作者不得不獨自走夜路去公交站，父親雖身體不適仍堅持送她，并在路上用螢火蟲的光為她講解自然知識。這次經歷讓作者感受到父親的愛，盡管她難以直接表達自己的情感。
文章用詞特點分析：
1. 細膩的情感描寫
文章通過細節描寫傳遞情感，例如“angry at my dad because he had dropped in and out of our childhood”直接表達了作者對父親缺席的憤怒。“Loving him too, but not always able to say it”展現了作者內心的矛盾和對父親的愛。
2. 生動的環境描寫
文章通過環境描寫營造氛圍，例如“the sun was sinking, and the sky was darkening”描繪了傍晚的景色，烘托了作者獨自走夜路的緊張情緒。再如， “leaves rustling”和“fireflies flashing around him”通過聲音和視覺細節增強了場景的真實感。
3. 簡潔而富有表現力的對話
對話簡短但富有情感，例如“You sure you’re OK to walk up the shortcut to the bus stop ”展現了父親的關心。再如，“I’m fine.” I lied. 通過簡短的對話和內心獨白，揭示了作者隱藏的緊張和對父親的依賴。
4. 象征手法的運用.
螢火蟲的“guiding lights”不僅是自然現象，也象征了父親在作者生活中的引導作用。（也有可能是我想多了）
此外，黑暗的小路和螢火蟲的光芒形成對比，象征了作者內心的困惑與逐漸萌生的理解。
文章通過細膩的情感描寫、生動的環境描寫和簡潔而富有表現力的對話，展現了父女之間復雜的情感變化。語言風格樸實而詩意，象征手法的運用增強了文章的深度和感染力。整體上，文章用詞精準，情感真摯，既展現了作者對父親的憤怒與愛，也描繪了父女關系逐漸修復的過程。這些語言用詞特征，值得我們揣摩模仿，我們在續寫的時候要盡量堅持再現，以實現語言協同。
寫作難點和方向
這篇文章的寫作難點在于如何在續寫部分自然地延續原文的情感和主題，同時保持故事的連貫性。
原文通過細膩的描寫展現了父女之間復雜的情感，既有疏離感，也有逐漸萌生的理解和愛。續寫部分需要繼續捕捉這種微妙的情感變化，尤其是女兒對父親態度的轉變。
據此，續寫情節構思如下：
第一段：
1.女兒跟隨父親，表達了對父親的關心。
2.父親發現女兒跟隨，表現出驚訝和感動。
3.父女之間的對話或動作進一步逐漸拉近了兩人的距離。
第二段：
1.父親帶女兒游覽家鄉，分享自己的故事和回憶。
2.女兒通過父親的介紹，重新認識家鄉的美景和文化。
3.女兒對父親的態度發生變化，從憤怒和疏離徹底轉變為理解和接納。
1.人物關系： 續寫部分需準確體現父女關系的復雜性，尤其是女兒對父親從憤怒到理解的轉變。若人物關系錯位或情感邏輯不合理，得分不超過18分。
2.情節合理性： 續寫情節需與原文協同，不能出現邏輯矛盾或情節脫節。若情節不合理，得分不超過15分。
3.第一段情節協同： 第一段需圍繞女兒跟隨父親的情節展開，體現女兒對父親的關心和情感變化。若未提及女兒跟隨父親或情感變化不明顯，得分不超過12分。
4.第二段情節協同： 第二段需圍繞父親帶女兒游覽家鄉的情節展開，體現父女關系的修復和女兒對家鄉的重新認識。若未提及父親分享故事或女兒對家鄉的新感受，得分不超過12分
第一段分析：
提示語：However, as he started to walk back down the dark track, I felt a sudden urge to follow.
好，首先我們看到父親準備離開了，背對著女兒，往回走。這個時候，女兒的內心似乎有點被什么東西牽引住了，突然就有了一種想要跟上的沖動。是不是感覺她心里有點復雜的情緒？可能有些愧疚，也有些不舍。那種矛盾的心理讓她的腳步幾乎不由自主地跟著走了。而且，你有沒有注意到，這個“dark track”這個詞暗示了那種孤單和不確定感，也讓她的決定變得更有沖動感。下一步肯定是她邁開了步伐，加速追趕，情感也開始變得急切起來。
My feet moved almost on their own, as if drawn by the faint glow of the fireflies and the sound of his fading footsteps.
你看，她的腳步像是自動的，幾乎不需要她自己去控制，似乎是被什么東西吸引了。是的，那個“faint glow of the fireflies”和“fading footsteps”像是無形的線，把她牽引著。這里寫得挺有意思的，不是嗎？她可能意識到，自己有些無法抗拒地想去跟著父親。就是那種感覺，既不完全是理智的決定，也不完全是情感的推動，更多的是一種被動的跟隨。接下來她心里可能會想著自己到底在做什么——是出于好奇，還是想彌補和父親的距離？這個時候，她可能有點想叫住父親，但又不想。
I wanted to call out to him, to tell him to wait, but the words stuck in my throat.
你看，這里寫出了她內心的小掙扎。她確實有話想說，可能是想喊父親停下來，或者直接問他為什么走得這么快。但是話到嘴邊又咽回去了，卡在了喉嚨里。是不是感覺很真實？這種“卡住的感覺”就像是我們生活中常會遇到的情況——明明心里有話要說，但又總是開不了口，可能是害怕被拒絕，或者根本不知道怎么說。接下來她應該會有某種行動，因為她不能就這樣停在那里不動，是不是？她可能會加快步伐，去趕上父親。
Instead, I quickened my pace, my heart pounding with a mix of fear and determination.
哦，終于行動了！她加快了步伐，而且心跳得很快，內心也有那種既緊張又堅定的感覺。你是不是也能感受到她內心的那種微妙變化？她一方面害怕，畢竟這個地方對她來說并不熟悉，另一方面她也很決心，想要跟上父親，想要彌補那些年沒有和父親在一起的遺憾。所以她的步伐變得更加急促，似乎有種無形的力量推著她前進。接下來肯定是她追上父親了，而且應該有個小小的情節轉折吧。
When I finally caught up to him, he turned, surprised but not displeased.
終于，她追上了父親！你注意到這里嗎？父親回頭時表現出“surprised but not displeased”的反應，既是驚訝，又不至于生氣。這種反應有點溫和對吧？他雖然有點意外女兒會追上來，但并沒有發火。反而，我們能感覺到，他似乎并不生氣，可能還帶有一點寬容。接下來，父親肯定會問她怎么回事了，而她的解釋會讓父親更溫柔地看待她。
“What are you doing here ” he asked, his voice soft but firm.
父親的語氣“soft but firm”，很有意思吧？雖然語氣柔和，但還是帶著一點嚴肅。看似質問，但其實是關心。你覺得，父親其實并不想責備她，而是想知道她為什么會跑出來追他。這個時候她心里可能有點緊張，但她也應該是想說些什么。接下來，她可能會有點結巴地說，自己并不是故意跟過來的，只是想確保他安全。她的解釋應該帶有一點羞澀，又有一些自我辯解的成分。
“I... I just wanted to make sure you got back safely,” I stammered, my cheeks burning.
她結巴了，說不出話，臉紅了，說明她其實有點緊張和害羞。這是很真實的心理描寫，大家都經歷過這種心跳加速的情境吧？她知道自己這么做有些突兀，但還是忍不住要為父親擔心。她的這種表現，會讓讀者感受到一種情感的真實和直接。接下來，我們可以預見到父親會笑一笑，打破這種緊張感，給女兒一些安慰。
He chuckled, a warm sound that eased the tension in the air.
父親的笑聲真是“救場”的關鍵！你看，這個笑聲一下子讓空氣中的緊張感消散了，瞬間讓氛圍變得溫暖起來。父親通過笑聲緩解了女兒的緊張，也給了她一個肯定的信號——他并不生氣，相反，他似乎很欣賞女兒關心自己的舉動。接下來，我們可以看到父親可能會溫和地說些話，告訴女兒她像她媽媽一樣總是為別人著想，這也是父親的一種關懷。
“You’re just like your mother,” he said, shaking his head. “Always worrying about everyone else.”
這句話的語氣很柔和，既是對女兒的夸獎，也帶著一些輕松的調侃。你看，父親并沒有嚴肅地批評，而是用一種輕松的方式緩解了兩人之間的尷尬，也表達了對女兒行為的理解。通過這句話，父親的愛和寬容更加展現出來了。接下來，我們可以看到，父女倆繼續走回去，彼此之間的距離又拉近了一些。接下來，讀者也應該能感受到，他們之間開始有了更深的情感連接。
We walked back together, the fireflies lighting our way, and for the first time in years, I felt a sense of connection, as if the distance between us was slowly closing.
這最后一句寫得特別好，火光的照耀象征著他們之間那漸漸重新點燃的情感。你能感受到嗎？他們之間的那道隔閡在這一刻終于開始慢慢消失了。走回去的路上，火蟲的光仿佛也在照亮他們之間的關系，讓他們開始重新建立連接。這一刻，女兒內心的孤獨和疏離感消散了，取而代之的是一份溫暖的歸屬感和連接感。
第二段：
提示語：A couple of days later, my dad took a drive around Jamaica with me.
我們來看看這個句子，首先，“a couple of days later”這個時間標記告訴我們，時間已經過去了幾天，也就是父女之間有了些冷靜期。從之前的緊張、突然的情感互動，到這個時候，感覺氣氛稍微輕松了些。父親決定帶著女兒一起去環島游。你能感覺到嗎？這次旅行不僅是為了看風景，還是父親和女兒重新建立聯系的一種方式。下一步，父親一定會通過一些話語或者行動，來進一步拉近他們之間的關系。所以，這一段應該開始描寫他們在路上的互動，帶有一種輕松、愉快的氛圍。
The sun was high, casting a golden glow over the rolling hills and vibrant fields.
看！這句描寫非常美，陽光照射下的自然景色給人一種溫暖和寧靜的感覺。你注意到“casting a golden glow”這個詞了嗎？它不僅在描述風景，也是在為接下來的情感發展鋪墊氛圍。陽光溫暖的金色光輝，給這段父女旅行增添了一層美好的色彩，似乎象征著他們之間的關系也在慢慢變得明亮和溫暖。是不是覺得，接下來父親一定會通過分享一些故事，來進一步加深與女兒的連接呢？
As we drove, he pointed out landmarks and shared stories from his own childhood—tales of mischief and adventure that made me laugh and see him in a new light.
這句話真的挺有意思的，父親開始通過回憶自己小時候的故事，來帶動女兒對他的重新認知。你有沒有注意到，這些故事都是“mischief”和“adventure”，也就是說，父親通過這些有趣的故事讓女兒感受到他年輕時的活力和頑皮，這不僅讓女兒笑了，也讓她以不同的眼光看待這個父親，看到他那一面“有趣”的、與自己小時候的形象不同的一面。這種“重新認識”給人一種輕松又愉悅的感覺，仿佛是兩個陌生人開始慢慢熟悉起來，彼此之間的距離越來越近。那么，接下來的句子，父親應該會通過一種更為直接的方式來強化這份情感吧。
“This is your home too,” he said, his voice filled with pride. “It’s a part of you, just like it’s a part of me.”
這句話真的很有分量。父親直接告訴女兒，這里不僅是他的家，也是她的家。從這個句子里，我們能感受到父親的驕傲和深深的情感投入。你有沒有覺得父親這時候的情感突然間就升溫了？他不僅僅是在帶女兒游玩，他其實在通過這種方式告訴她，“你是我的一部分，你是這個地方的一部分。”這句話有種歸屬感的力量，讓人覺得溫暖。父親不僅僅是想要分享美麗的景色，更是在通過這種分享，讓女兒感受到和他之間的關系有了更深的聯系。接下來，女兒可能會有一種回應，感受到這份父愛，也許會讓她內心的某些情感得到釋放吧。
I nodded, feeling a sense of belonging I hadn’t realized I’d been missing.
她點了點頭，你覺得她為什么會點頭呢？是的，因為這句話觸動了她的內心，讓她意識到，自己一直以來似乎在這個家庭、這個地方有些缺席。而父親的話語就像是一個鑰匙，打開了她內心深處的那扇門，原來她一直在尋找一種歸屬感，只是自己沒有察覺。你看，這個小小的動作——點頭，其實表達了她內心深處的變化：從一開始的不理解，到現在的認同。她開始意識到，自己和這個家、和父親之間的關系不再只是疏遠的，而是有了深厚的根基。接下來，我們可能會看到，女兒的情感開始從過去的憤怒和距離感中解脫出來，變得更加溫暖和接納。
The anger I’d carried for so long began to melt away, replaced by a growing appreciation for the man beside me and the land that had shaped us both.
這一句是整段情感的轉折點。你能感覺到她內心的變化嗎？她曾經的憤怒和不滿已經開始慢慢消失了，取而代之的是一種新的情感——對父親的欣賞和對這片土地的認同。這種變化很有力量，因為它意味著她開始理解父親，也理解他所帶來的影響。其實，這個時候，她不僅是在理解父親，還是在接納這片曾經對她來說陌生的土地。父親、土地、自己之間的關系開始變得和諧。
整個寫作過程中，我們從父親和女兒的對話、互動中逐漸揭示了兩人之間逐漸升溫的感情。通過自然景色的描寫和父親的故事分享，父女關系開始有了顯著的變化。而女兒的心理變化也被逐漸揭示出來，她從過去的憤怒和疏離感中走出來，開始感受到歸屬感和對父親的認可。每一個細節都在為這段情感的升華鋪路！
完整版
連句成文：
第一段：
However, as he started to walk back down the dark track, I felt a sudden urge to follow. My feet moved almost on their own, as if drawn by the faint glow of the fireflies and the sound of his fading footsteps（協同呼應）. I wanted to call out to him, to tell him to wait, but the words stuck in my throat. Instead, I quickened my pace, my heart pounding with a mix of fear and determination. When I finally caught up to him, he turned, surprised but not displeased. “What are you doing here ” he asked, his voice soft but firm. “I… I just wanted to make sure you got back safely,” I stammered, my cheeks burning. He chuckled, a warm sound that eased the tension in the air. “You’re just like your mother,” he said, shaking his head. “Always worrying about everyone else.” We walked back together, the fireflies lighting our way（協同呼應）, and for the first time in years, I felt a sense of connection, as if the distance between us was slowly closing. （字數稍多，不想刪了）
第二段：
A couple of days later, my dad took a drive around Jamaica with me. The sun was high, casting a golden glow over the rolling hills and vibrant fields.（環境渲染） As we drove, he pointed out landmarks and shared stories from his own childhood—tales of mischief （搗蛋）and adventure that made me laugh and see him in a new light. “This is your home too,” he said, his voice filled with pride. “It’s a part of you, just like it’s a part of me.” I nodded, feeling a sense of belonging I hadn’t realized I’d been missing. The anger I’d carried for so long began to melt away, replaced by a growing appreciation for the man beside me and the land that had shaped us both.
官方范文如下：
However, as he started to walk back down the dark track, I felt a sudden urge to follow. I couldn't let him go alone, not in his condition. I called out to him, “Dad, wait!” He turned around, a bit surprised but also relieved to see me. “You okay, love ” he asked, concern etching his face. I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest. “I just. .. I want to make sure you're okay,” I stammered, trying to hide my worry. He smiled gently, patting my hand. “I'm glad you're here,” he said, his voice softening. We walked together, the fireflies tiny lights a comforting presence in the dark. It was in these moments，walking side by side, that I began to see him not just as my distant father but as a man with his own stories and struggles and the distance that had once felt so vast was now beginning to close, one step at a time.
A couple of days later, my dad took a drive around Jamaica with me. Sitting beside him in the car, I listened as he spoke-not just about the landscapes, but about his life. He pointed out the places he had explored as a young man， the rivers he used to swim in, and the small villages where he had made friends. Every wave he exchanged with passersby, showed me a side of him I had never seen before. Slowly, my frustration began to fade, replaced by curiosity, and then admiration. For the first time, I saw Jamaica not just as a place but as a part of him-his past, his home, his identity. And in embracing his world, I found myself understanding him in a way I never had before. Maybe love didn't always have to be spoken; sometimes, it was simply about being present, about choosing to see someone for who they truly were.
本文值得我們學習的是，如何描寫作者對父親的情感態度轉變。
以下這些句子通過細膩的描寫，展現了作者從憤怒、抗拒到理解、接納的情感轉變過程。每一句話都體現了作者內心的變化，最終完成了對父親的情感重建。
1. As I followed him down the dark track, my heart pounded with a mix of fear and curiosity. I wanted to see where he was going, but more than that, I wanted to understand who he really was.
當我跟著他沿著黑暗的小路走下去時，我的心跳加速，充滿了恐懼和好奇。我想看看他要去哪里，但更重要的是，我想了解他到底是一個怎樣的人。（作者開始主動接近父親，內心充滿了探索和理解的渴望。）
2. Watching him walk alone, his figure illuminated faintly by the fireflies, I felt a pang of guilt for all the times I had pushed him away.
看著他獨自走著，螢火蟲微弱的光芒照亮了他的身影，我為曾經無數次將他推開而感到一陣內疚。（作者開始反思自己的行為，內心產生了愧疚感。）
3. I realized then that his absence wasn’t just about him leaving—it was also about me refusing to let him in.
那時我意識到，他的缺席不僅僅是因為他離開了——也是因為我拒絕讓他走進我的生活。（作者開始從更客觀的角度看待父女關系的疏遠，認識到自己也有責任。）
4. As I stood there in the darkness, I whispered to myself, “Maybe it’s time to stop being angry and start being open.”
當我站在黑暗中時，我輕聲對自己說：“也許是時候停止憤怒，開始敞開心扉了。” （作者決定放下憤怒，嘗試用更開放的心態面對父親。）
5. When he turned around and saw me standing there, his eyes widened in surprise, but then he smiled—a smile that felt like a bridge between us.
當他轉過身看到我站在那里時，他的眼睛因驚訝而睜大，但隨后他笑了——那笑容像是一座連接我們的橋梁。（作者內心開始軟化。）
6. In that moment, I felt something shift inside me, like a heavy weight lifting off my chest.
在那一刻，我感到內心有什么東西發生了變化，就像一塊沉重的石頭從胸口移開了。 （作者內心的負擔逐漸減輕）
7. His voice, filled with pride and nostalgia, made me see him not just as my father, but as a person with his own dreams and struggles.
他充滿自豪和懷念的聲音讓我不再僅僅把他看作我的父親，而是一個有著自己夢想和掙扎的人。 （作者開始理解）
8. As he said, “I’ve always loved you,” I felt tears welling up in my eyes, not because I was sad, but because I finally believed him.
當他說“我一直愛你”時，我感到眼淚在眼眶中打轉，不是因為悲傷，而是因為我終于相信了他。 (作者的情感徹底釋放)

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