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課件11張PPT。七年級提優課程-書面表達
常見錯誤分析
一
May1審題錯誤信息提示
???????太白山是陜西著名的森林游覽勝地。一年四季都有其獨特的景色(scene)。不過,游覽太白山的最佳時機是春天。每當春天來臨,青山滴翠,美麗的景色吸引了許多游客前來踏青觀光。可幾年前,游人不注意保護環境,亂扔垃圾,攀折樹枝花草,獵殺野鳥,點火野餐,致使環境一度惡化。請你寫篇報道,說明太白山旅游環境的變化。
1習作 Taibai Mountain is a famous place of interest in Shaanxi Province. It has its special scenes all the year round, and spring is the best time to visit it. When spring comes, the days get longer and longer and the weather get warmer and warmer. Trees are beginning to turn green, and flowers come out. Everything begins to grow (1).?
The mountains are covered with a lot of green tall trees and all kinds of colorful wild flowers. It is so beautiful that a lot of visitors come here and enjoy its beauty every day. But a few years ago, some of the visitors paid no attention to protecting the environment. They used to throw lots of rubbish such as plastic bags, fruit skins and waste paper on the ground. They don’t know that cleaners work from morning till night to sweep away the rubbish and waste things (2).
Sometimes they broke some branches, picked flowers and even killed birds. Some even made fires in the forest to cook food. How dangerous it was! Luckily enough, the local government has begun to do something to stop polluting the area. Great changes have taken place here. New roads and nice hotels have been built; trees and flowers are planted around them. Visitors are asked to take plastic bags and put their rubbish in them (3).
(2)這一部分也應當刪掉。因為,這里批評了游客亂扔垃圾的不良現象,由于篇幅的限制,沒有必要再去談論清潔工是如何清理這些垃圾的。(1)這一部分應當刪掉。文章應圍繞太白山景區的景色和環境保護主題展開,與太白山有關的春景可以略寫,但不宜用太多的筆墨去描繪春天,這不僅加長了篇幅,也沖淡了主題。
(3)這一部分同樣需要刪掉。根據上文不難看出,本文主要談論太白山旅游區的環境污染問題,以及政府采取措施后環境的變化。沒有必要去描述基礎設施的變化。總而言之,英文作文中,應特別注意避免想起什么寫什么,隨意發揮,淡化主題。1★精品范文 Taibai Mountain is a famous place of interest in Shanxi Province. It has its special scenes all the year round, and spring is the best time to visit it. When spring comes, the mountains are covered with a great many green tall trees and all kinds of colorful wild flowers. It is so beautiful that a lot of visitors come here and enjoy its beauty every day.
But a few years ago, some of the visitors paid no attention to protecting the environment. They used to throw lots of rubbish such as plastic bags, fruit skins and waste paper on the ground. Sometimes they broke some branches, picked flowers and even killed birds. Some even made fires in the forest to cook food. How dangerous it was!
Luckily enough, the local government has begun to do something to stop polluting the area. Great changes have taken place here.

2文不達意信息提示
?????? 根據下面的4幅圖畫用英語寫一篇短文,要求故事包括所有圖畫的主要內容,可以適當增加細節,使意思連貫。詞數在100以上。習作2One day, an old woman was crossing the street with a basket in her hand. She went to do some shopping. Just then a car came up and she was knocked down onto the ground. She was badly injured and couldn’t move. But to everyone’s anger, the car ran away as quickly as it could. The old woman had to lie on the ground and cried (1).
Luckily, a man, who was sweeping the street nearby, saw this. He ran quickly up to her and helped her stand up. He was angry with the driver (2). Then he took her to the nearest hospital. There a doctor examined her carefully and gave her some medical care.
After that, the dustman took her home. When the old woman’s daughter knew what had happened to her mother, she was moved deeply and thanked him very much. After a while the dustman left and went to do his work. The daughter thanked him again (3).
(1)此句與圖中提示不相符,應刪去。(2)此處加寫這句屬多余,也與圖畫內容不符。
(3)文章寫到“...very much.”處已經很完整了,加上這一句使行文顯得重復、累贅。2★精品范文One day, an old woman was crossing the street with a basket in her hand. She went to do some shopping. Just then a car came up and she was knocked down onto the ground. She was badly injured and couldn’t move a little. Luckily, a man, who was sweeping the street nearby, saw this. He ran quickly up to her and helped her stand up. Then he took her to the nearest hospital. There a doctor examined her carefully and gave her some medical care. After that, the dustman took her home. When the old woman’s daughter knew what had happened to her mother, she was moved deeply and thanked him very much.3名詞單復數信息提示
???????假如你是吳強,去年春天和幾位同學到東浦島野餐,以“The happiest day”為題寫一篇80-100詞的作文。要求條理清晰、意思連貫、語句通順、標點規范。
3習作The happiest day
?????? Last spring my classmate (1) and I went to Dongpu Island to have a picnic. It was March 2. The weather was fine and there was hardly a cloud in the sky. We started early that morning. We all carried something nice to eat and drink.

We sang happily on our ways (2) there. After about one and a half hour (3), we got to the island. The water in the lake was nice and clean and we could see flowers and grasses (4) all around us. How beautiful it was! After about twenty minute’s (5) rest, we divided ourselves into four groups and cooked our lunch. Most of us did the cooking for the first time. After a while, everything was ready. We put all the food on a big piece of paper. There was meat, fish, fruit and vegetable (6). How delicious they were! We enjoyed our lunch and there was a big smile on everyone’s faces (7).
(1)classmate在本句中看不出錯誤來,如果結合第二段的... four groups就可發現classmate要用復數形式。(2)在on one’s way 結構中,way 沒有復數形式。
(3)這兒不是半個小時,而是一個半小時,所以hour要用復數。
(4)此處指普通的草,多用單數。
(5)此處應將minute’s改為minutes’,即twenty minutes’ rest。(7)這兒指的是每個人的臉上,應將faces改為face。(6)此處應用vegetable的復數形式vegetables。
3★ 精品范文The happiest day
????? Last spring my classmates and I went to Dongpu Island to have a picnic. It was March 2. The weather was fine and there was hardly a cloud in the sky. We started early that morning. We all carried something nice to eat and drink.
????? We sang happily on the way there. After about one and a half hours, we got to the island. The water in the lake was nice and clean and we could see flowers and grass all around us. How beautiful it was! After about twenty minutes’ rest, we divided ourselves into four groups and cooked our lunch. Most of us did the cooking for the first time. After a while, everything was ready. We put all the food on a big piece of paper. There was meat, fish, fruit and vegetables. How delicious they were! We enjoyed our lunch and there was a big smile on everyone’s face.

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